Linux is Hard!

Or is it just different?

People used to walk everywhere, which is pretty easy, right? Unless of course you can’t walk, but let’s not be too pedantic here. Eventually, most of us learned to drive or ride a motorbike. Is that inherently easy? Could ease ever be described as something that needs contrast to be so?

I’ve always said that Linux has a steep learning curve, or something to that effect. I appreciate that about Linux now. Yes, it can be a tough nut to crack, particularly when compared to the likes of Windows and Mac. I know it sucks when things don’t work, but guess what, they can get it wrong too.

It took me a while to realise this myself, but a heck of a lot of people go into Linux with Windows firmly in mind, expecting it to be Windows, however, it’s a totally different operating system; an entirely different platform! That’s like stepping into a car and expecting it to drive like a motorbike.

I watched a video recently of a guy raging because he couldn’t deal with Linux not working as he expected. I’m not going to spout nonsense about how Linux always works or something, because the truth is it can be a major PITA. That said, this comes to mind:

“You are like this cup; you are full of ideas. You come and ask for teaching, but your cup is full; I can’t put anything in. Before I can teach you, you’ll have to empty your cup.” – Master Ryutan.

Granted, you can’t really get a fair chance to mess with your cup if the thing doesn’t even work at all, which is why it took a while to get to the point at which I could learn all this stuff and get so involved with GNU/Linux, as some people insist on calling it.

Don’t get me wrong, I fully accept and understand that it’s not everyone’s idea of fun to fill your screen with virtual terminals and type out command after command. I know many people feel typing jargon is like going back to the days of MS-DOS, when such apparent gibberish meant you got something done.

Well, you still can get things done, and far more efficiently — why do you think the Linux command line has survived all this time, even in the age of such excessive hand-holding like the so-called “free” Windows 10? Your games and programs were created from lines and lines of code, or a program with a UI made from yet more lines and lines of code.

I loved Windows for years, but Windows 10 was the final straw. Ultimately, Micro$oft and Mac lock you down, but, provided it works on your hardware, then Linux will set you free. Is that always a good thing? No, as there are many opportunities to screw up if you overlook something, especially for a “power user” like me who loves to tinker and tweak.

I hope Linux will continue to mature and rise up to the challenge of appealing more to those whom refuse to use a terminal and want a more “user-friendly” environment. I want those things too — I’d love not to need the terminal for anything, and that’s coming from someone who loves it! I want the option not the necessity to use it.

Linux has achieved a lot, but there’s still quite the journey ahead for desktop users.

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Seek and Destroy

Spend years being miserable and alone, behind bars with tall walls guarding you. Be full with regrets and insecurities. At long last, find something that makes you smile. Now piss all over it.

Welcome to my world—cue the countdown to a post-apocolyptic mess.

I self-sabotage when I get close to being happy and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I don’t deserve happiness. Maybe part of me wants to be alone, because it’s easy and safe.

OCD likes to kick me in the nuts every once in a while. My issues with anxiety results in panic over things not even relevant. On your marks, get set, ruminate!

Sometimes I wish I were blasé all the time; not giving a damn about anything and just going with the flow, dealing with each second as it ticks on by.

I don’t think I set out to sabotage things, but it seems to happen anyway. I can even recognise it now—go me. I wish, for once, I could just not care and get on with it, be however the hell I’m meant to be, for my own sake and for others.

I thought I’d become stronger, but maybe I was just hiding from everything; that’s not strength. I’m a coward?

Maybe I just need time to adjust to her giving a damn, and my—God help us all—really connecting with another human again. After all, it’s still very early days.

Do you push people away, especially on a romantic level, when they get close? When things get freaky, do you panic and feel the urge to bail?

Sometimes I want to run away to simplicity and predictability; familiarity. I don’t like the unknown; I don’t know it. Does it change how I feel about someone or something? Ultimately, no.

I could want to step outisde to do the rain dance so very badly, but if my brain tells me it’s scary, that rain might hurt, and it might not work, then I’m going to be full of doubts, so hello apprehension; is that normal?

Sometimes I wonder if my thoughts and feelings (particularly those relevant to this post) aren’t quite as unique and messed-up as I tend to believe; perhaps they’re just intensified by the OCD and circulated because of the resulting anxiety—it only takes one thought.

I’m so tired. Don’t even get me started on why my brain melts down at night. Why is it when the sun goes down, that’s when my brain rises more than ever? Well, I’ll tell you: it’s typically when I go to bed, left with my stupid thoughts taunting me.

Every once in a while, I need to escape my brain. Even prisoners get a small taste of freedom in the recreation room; perhaps a chance at peace from shivs, broken bones, and bruises.

Thank you Mental Health and Invisible Illness Resources for sharing this.

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