Tonight was educational, but challenging. Yet another example of why it’s often good to talk stuff through and not internalise it all. We shouldn’t be stressing to the point at which we’d be driving ourselves insane and potentially confusing or hurting other people in the process.
One of the trickiest things about being romantically involved with someone, I think, is communication. Yes, I know, “communication is so important in a relationship!” – y’all get it already. What I mean is that actually talking about the problematic things can be a real challenge, especially if you’re overly used to avoiding just that, like I am.
Occasionally, he or she will bug, befuddle, and discourage you. Typically, I run away from these situations, because I don’t know how to deal with them or what to say, and even when I grasp what to say or do, I don’t, because either I’m afraid of the aftermath or haven’t a clue whether I’m being a dick or not.
Sometimes I need time to deliberate; to figure out if it’s worth talking about or whether I’m just being stupid, but that leads to keeping everything locked up and never taking the plunge. Doing this far less is something I’ve been actively and stubbornly working on for over a month.
Sometimes you sincerely have to speak up when you’re uncomfortable or bothered about something, otherwise it’ll no doubt keep happening, lead to resentment, and then it’ll eventually drive a wedge between two people; I’ve been there before and it blew chunks, as the Americans would say.
I think a lot of the scrapes in a new relationship are from trying to find where the lines are drawn. Rather than spending the entire time guessing and ruminating, why not vocalise some of it in order to make life easier for you both? It can go a long way, as I’m discovering.