My Xmas Isn’t Always Merry

I guess it’s that time of the year again, and if anyone is anyone, they’ll be blogging, posting on Facebook, bugging their friends, and generally letting the world know how their Christmas will be, has been, and was; I’m not about to detract from such a great tradition!

I suppose it goes without saying that Christmas isn’t always merry for everybody, and, as I was reminded recently by a woman who came to my door trying to get money from me, people with mental health problems can have a pretty crappy time at Christmas.

I’ve been there myself, and I think I still go there. I feel all depressed, alone, hopeless, aimless, lustlos, and just go about my business waiting for the end of Christmas, so I can go back to my usual, crappy, kacke claptrap.

Not this Christmas. So far, I’m having a good one, but it is a very lonely one. A woman online—someone pretty remarkable who I hope will one day be in my life to a much a larger extent—has been fantastic, but she has stuff to do, family to see, places to go; obviously, that’s fine, but it sucks for little old me. Do I sound clingy and needy? Hope not.

I’m going to visit my dad and stepmother soon, just as soon as they’re available; they’re with family too. Frustratingly, the only way I could get that feel-good sense of family is by drowning in cigarette smoke, putting my life on the line; not worth it!

I don’t care how OTT you think I am, or how absurd you think it is, I don’t want cancer and there’s simply no need to risk it all just to appease social protocol, but I digress.

My step-mother’s parents host a lovely dinner but at the cost of the house rarely having its windows open, and living room being caked in cigarette poison; no thanks.

I’m looking forward to seeing my dad, since, after all, it’s Christmas! Just a shame it has to be the evening, and not for long at that, unless I want to come home very late, which I don’t.

Last night I got very drunk on plenty of rum and chatted to the aforementioned woman aplenty, which was fun! I feel like I’ve actually celebrated Christmas for a change, but it’s not over yet.

Keep up to date with Taut with Thought’s Twitter page!


One thought on “My Xmas Isn’t Always Merry

  1. Sounds like a special woman! ;P

    Getting together with family can fix that loneliness. Christmas just isn’t special without your loved ones. I hope you have a merry Christmas and a lovely evening, you deserve it 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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