Two kinds of males may read this: either you’re a man who fervently refuses to believe he “feels”, or you’re a perfectly normal human being.
I am a sensitive and emotional man, at least to a point, and believe me, I hate it, but somewhere in the vastness of space and time lies a woman that likes that about me; a man who is comfortable with his emotions is something she considers a “real man”.
The flip-side to this discovery is that the aforementioned woman perhaps doesn’t currently see me as such, therefore I am back at square one. Would it be ignorant of me to think that perhaps I am the sort of man this sort of woman sort of wants, but for years I’ve been pretending to be something I’m not? No, this isn’t a closet confession.
What is a real man? Through social and parental conditioning most blokes are taught to be blokes. “Don’t show weakness, son!” – weakness makes us a target; we are the predators, not the prey; we hunt as alphas, we are not hunted.
Perhaps she’s right—perhaps a real man is a guy who feels emotions and accepts them as part of himself; embraces them and uses them. “We are made to express our emotions” – she has a point.
Do tears really make me weak?
If I were so weak, I wouldn’t have powered through all the crap I’ve been through thus far, If I were so fucking weak, I wouldn’t devote my life to trying to be a decent person, fraying at the seams every time I feel like I’ve screwed up.
I fought a very self-destructive time in my life and kicked it to the curb; that is not weakness. We have survived for so long because our failures have made us who we are today. We have been weak—wars, slavery, disease, and Gaia herself—but together we have become strong.