Stupid Things I’ve Done

We all do weird, silly, or just downright stupid things from time to time. I’m 29 years old, so I’ve had 29 years of opportunity—plenty more years left.

Flushing Eggs Down the Toilet

I don’t actually know a great deal about it but my dad loves to remind me of this!

When I was a toddler, I somehow went into the kitchen, grabbed a bunch of eggs, wandered off to the bathroom, then chucked and flushed a bunch of the eggs down toilet. Why? Your guess is as good as mine.

Vacuuming Water

Another weird one, but one I actually vaguely remember doing. I guess I just wanted to know what would happen, being the young teen I was. My dad discovered the hoover and you don’t have to be a genius to figure out that it didn’t work anymore.

Come to think of it, it’s probably quite lucky it didn’t explode or start a fire! Speaking of fire…

Playing with Fire

I’m sure we’ve all done this before, right? Home alone, I got a hold of one of my dad’s lighters, back when he used to smoke, once again during the young teen age.

I lit a piece of kitchen roll and waddya know, holding it in my hand became quite the challenge, so, panicked, I flung it out of the living room window. Luckily, the bit of kitchen roll landed on the neighbour’s conservatory and the flame soon died out.

Don’t play with fire, kids! That little scenario could’ve ended up very differently.

Writing Nonsensical Poems

I used to be big on poetry; at times, writing several poems a day. I loved coming up with rhymes and having a cool rhythm. I was actually quite good at sounding all deep; making my poems sound mysterious. Poetry was a fantastic way of getting across how I felt about something.

Unfortunately, my old poems were so mysterious that sometimes even I didn’t know what the heck I was on about. Looking back, I’d be surprised if I can make any sense of most of that angsty drivel.

I’ll never forget that one time when I showed someone a poem I had typed up; she was so taken back, related so much, that her eyes leaked a bit. They weren’t all garbage, I guess.

Bike Versus Car

Around the age of 15, I decided to race a car with my pedal bike; I don’t know why I thought that would be a clever idea, but then I was a kid and I often hand nothing but stupid ideas.

Needless to say, recklessly peddling super fast with a car right beside you is a recipe for disaster. My left pedal smacked into the curb and it caused me to do a rather epic flip; I landed on my back, winded for quite some time.

The car just drove off, no doubt with its occupants dying of laughter.

Compared to my next stunt, that was pretty tame.

Wall, Meet Hip

Perhaps a couple of years later, I have to admit that this one stuck with me for many more years, because it’s the one and only time I can recall being in a state of what the Internet tells me is unconsciousness, ‘though I’ve never been entirely sure what it was.

There’s a long, steep stretch of road before you reach my dad’s old flat where I used to live as a young’n. I enjoyed whizzing down the path of that fairly busy road as fast as I could; it was such a rush!

Along the road were various drives for residential houses and pubs. The drives often had a pretty awesome dip as they lead into the road itself. The paths were also rather raised, more so than the road itself. I loved flying through these dips to get up even more speed and feel a wicked rush.

Unfortunately, experiencing this particular rush cost me quite a bit of pain, when I completely misjudged one of the biggest dips and went flying into one of those low brick walls, you know, knee-height. My left hip went straight into the wall. Dear Lord, did that hurt!

I was with a friend at the time, but he didn’t realise how bad it could’ve been. I’m honestly surprised my hip didn’t shatter into pieces at the speed I was going.

I was laying on the side of the path for what felt like hours, disoriented, finding it very difficult to hear and understand what my friend was saying, struggling to see, and spoke as though I were blind drunk; the pain was pretty unpleasant, and moving anything was entirely out of the question.

By some miracle I managed to shamble home like a zombie after a bit of time sat on that path, back against the wall.

In hindsight, my friend was a tad useless and probably should’ve called for an ambulance, or at least went and got my dad who didn’t live far away. Having just googled the symptoms, it should’ve been treated as a “medical emergency.” Ah well. Lesson learned!

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4 thoughts on “Stupid Things I’ve Done

      1. I think I’m going to have to come up with a part 2 of this entry. 😉 I’ve done many more stupids things. Hell, I might even go out and do more stupid things, then blog about it! …wait, no. Haha.


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