We, as humans, have a tendency of, … uh, bending the truth, or lying, however which way you wish to look at it. I’m going to be honest about some things I may have lied about over the years.
Are you alright?
This one is easy. The amount of times I’ve avoided saying the truth because of reasons such as my not wanting to talk about it with you because either I don’t trust you with the information, I think you won’t understand, I think you will flat-out laugh at me, or because it’s upsetting to me and I don’t want to admit to weakness. Sometimes I just want to say what I want to say, but I don’t…
“No, I’m not OK. I’m tired and my anxiety is through the roof. I’m feeling defeated and depressed because of it. Hug me?”
“In the past, I tried to talk to you about what’s bothering me, but I didn’t feel like you understood me at all, so, I’d rather lie to you and tell you I’m just fine and dandy.”
“I’m feeling upset and part of me wants to leak a salty liquid from out of my eyeballs. I would rather pretend I’m just fine and not show you this weakness because I feel like, as a man, I have to be the strong one.”
It’s never quite that easy, especially for some men. You’ve probably noticed that a lot of men don’t do feelings. I’m a sensitive guy, I do feelings, but that doesn’t mean I want to talk about everything, to everyone, all the time.
No, I’m alright, but thanks for the offer!
This is often such a load of bullshit and I’m going to just come out (albeit anonymously) and say it.
Yes, I do want that slice of cake.
Yes, I do want that cup of tea.
Yes, I would like a can of Coke or Pepsi.
Yes, I would love a pint.
Yes, I really want that slice of pizza.
The amount of foods and drinks I’ve turned down because of this, jeez! I’ve actually been hungry as balls, thirsty as tits, and not once accepted the nourishment I so sorely desired! What’s wrong with me?
I’m not quite sure why I lie about this one, but I do. I don’t like eating in-front of others, so it could be that. I don’t like to be a bother to people, so it could be that, too. Who knows.
No, I don’t mind at all!
This isn’t always the case, but there are definitely the odd occasions when, actually, yes, it does bother me! I’ve no clue why I lie about this, other than perhaps trying to avoid confrontation, because I hate confrontation! Confrontation, despite the many times I seem to end up in it, makes me anxious as balls (or tits) thus I tend to avoid it whenever possible.
The truth is, guys and gals, I’m anxious a lot of the time; it’s draining. Sometimes I just need not to have a big discussion about why something you just did bothers me. Perhaps I just can’t deal with an argument over something minor. Maybe I’m too anxious from the potential argument I fear in my head, that I can’t come up with a decent explanation as to why it bothers me! So yes, I lie about this one from time to time.
A thank you to the Facebook page Mental Health and Invisible Illness Resources for sharing this blog entry.